Figs and milk.

electrichoney:

True Blood has WAY TOO MANY CHARACTERS. As of the end of season three (not counting characters only in seasons 1 and 2) we have:

• Sookie, who is off in Fairyland
• Bill, who is fighting the Queen in the Matrix to ‘protect Sookie’ or something
• The Queen, who is spilling her own blood just bc she wants some fairy blood
• Eric, who is busy getting concrete out of his hair
• Pam, who is busy being fabulous
• Godric, who is a ghost hung up on ‘forgiveness’ or whatever
• Tara, who is running away from her bad haircut
• Terry, who is so happy he’s sad
• Arlene, who is having a demon child
• Jason, who is taking care of a bunch of hicks
• Crystal, who is off being raped by her brother
• Fenton, who is addicted to V
• Calvin, who was shot dead by his son
• Hoyt, who just bought a house for Jessica
• Jessica, who is finally back with Hoyt
• Summer, who is stalking Hoyt
• Mama Fortenberry, who is plotting to murder Jessica
• Russell, who is encased in concrete
• Talbot, who is down the drain
• Lafayette, who is going crazy
• Jesus, who is a witch
• Ruby Jean, who is convinced she needs to protect her son 
• Tommy, who might be dead and definitely can’t read
• Sam, who has been character assassinated
• Andy Bellfleur, who is curious about V and has the DEA on his case
• Alcide, who is the best character on the show
• Debbie, who is plotting her revenge
• Cooter, who is one dead werewolf
• Janice, who is missing
• Kitch Maynard, who is breaking Jason’s football record hopped up on V
• Tammy, who likes carsex and trying on clothes
• Holly, who is busy being Wiccan
• Hadley, who is busy kidnapping her fairy-son
• Claudine, who is showing Sookie the fairy-ropes
• Lettie Mae, who is committing adultery with the pastor
• Franklin, who is vampire goo
• The Magister, who is headless
• The Authority, who like Bluetooth
• Lorena, who is finally dead, thank goodness
• Ann Flanagan, who is a hypocrite

Did I miss anyone? Is this not insane? Alan Ball, here’s a tip: The number of characters you have is inversely proportional to the quality of the show.