I have a knack for developing crushes on men that turn out to be unavailable. I overheard the last guy I had a huge crush on (I work at a coffee shop and every time he came in I would start shaking a little) telling someone that he’s not looking for a girlfriend right now. The guy I currently like is divorced, and it wasn’t that long ago that the marriage ended. I’m assuming he’s fairly unavailable as well. Anyways, is there something wrong with me? It’s not like I see a wedding ring and then I’m attracted to them…I literally just develop very strong crushes on guys that turn out to be unavailable for one reason or another.
If you’re in your late teens or early twenties, then there’s nothing wrong with you that a few good years of maturity won’t naturally fix. If you’re in your thirties, then perhaps you’re a bit of a shallow twit, but even that’s correctable with a little well-timed introspection.
Either way, your problem isn’t what you think it is. I understand why you’d be concerned if you thought you were only capable of being attracted to unavailable men, but that’s not what I’m hearing from you. What I’m hearing is that you seem to have confused infatuation with more legitimate romantic emotions.
Crushes aren’t that big a deal, especially if you’re still in a phase of life where you’re having a lot of them…
someone take me out. either in the date way or the assassination way
How is it possible to have amazing sex with a man who doesn’t attract me at all intellectually and whose body I find repulsive?
You’re just having a little hot ugly pig sex. It happens. Try not to overthink it.
Who should pay on the first date?
Whoever asked the other person out is the one who pays, unless the person who was asked voluntarily offers to split or pick up the tab.
He ended things with me a few months back because he wasn’t feeling “the spark” and we’ve been friends every since. But last night we were both at a party and I hooked up with someone. Now he won’t talk to me. How do I tell him to get over himself? Is it even worth it?
Nope. He can get over himself, or he can go fuck himself. Either way, you don’t have to tell him shit.
Is it possible to have daddy issues if my dad has been there for my whole life and is generally a very supportive and kind figure?
Sure, it’s possible. Hell, we’ve all got issues. If you feel the need to label them daddy, there’s probably a reason. It could be due to some unresolved conflict in your relationship with your father, but then again, it could just be that people throw around the term “daddy issues” a bit too easily these days.
Recently (like the past couple of months) I’ve been having rape fantasies. I’ll be doing my thing, suddenly realize what I’m thinking about, and stop in my tracks completely horrified. It makes me feel disgusting and worries me, but my mind keeps traveling there. I’m starting to have anxiety about it. Should I seek help?
Nah. You’re fine. As long as it’s pure fantasy and doesn’t stem from a specific traumatic incident, then it’s really not a big deal. Rape fantasies are quite common, and they don’t mean you actually want to be raped. I promise, there’s nothing wrong with you.
I’m really great at finding hot, fun guys to fuck and having a hot night of sex. Not so great at turning it into either a regular fuck or a relationship. Any advice?
Yeah, stop trying to turn one-night-stands into ongoing relationships. Going out for a hot night of sex and going out to meet guys are two completely different rituals with completely different codes of etiquette. Separate the two in your mind, and understand that you can’t do them both at the same time.
Why do I imagine what a relationship/love affair/one night stand would be like with everyone I think is attracted to me, even when I’m not attracted to them?
Because you’re the object of the fantasy, not them. You don’t need to be attracted to them to gaze back at your own idealized reflection of whatever you think they find attractive about you.
I know that my style of joking with friends involves insults but if I ever say something that actually hurts your feelings even if I was joking and you know I was joking please tell me and I wont say that again because its not fun or funny if you’re actually hurting because of what I said
i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and not push me off the roof when i point to the stars and romantically whisper ‘space: the final frontier…these are the voyages of the starship enterprise…’
|—|| Craig Thompson
Carnet De Voyage, pg 216-217 (via digitalpreacher)
sorry i’m late, professor. im disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis
I eat romantic shit up. If I were asked to just sit on a roof and look at the stars id probably internally combust