Figs and milk.

The needle has landed.

(Source: pablocazares)


I know that my style of joking with friends involves insults but if I ever say something that actually hurts your feelings even if I was joking and you know I was joking please tell me and I wont say that again because its not fun or funny if you’re actually hurting because of what I said

(Source: faircommentfuckoff)

““If I were to be totally sincere, I would say that I do not know why I live and why I do not stop living. The answer probably lies in the irrational character of life which maintains itself without reason.”
― Emil Cioran, On the Heights of Despair”
(via journalofanobody)


i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and not push me off the roof when i point to the stars and romantically whisper ‘space: the final frontier…these are the voyages of the starship enterprise…’

(Source: arzetweets)

“You and I are so much the same. You have so many layers, that you can peel away a few, and everyone’s so shocked and impressed that you’re bearing your soul, while to you it’s nothing, because you know you’ve 20 more layers to go. But we’re the ones that are most scared and need the most love.”
Craig Thompson
Carnet De Voyage, pg 216-217 (via digitalpreacher)


sorry i’m late, professor. im disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis


I eat romantic shit up. If I were asked to just sit on a roof and look at the stars id probably internally combust

(Source: hexxxxgirlfriend)


the secret to being alone


the secret to being alone

On fun-sized advice


I just turned 22 and I hate feeling so old.
You don’t feel old. You just resent having to act like an adult. Toughen up, buttercup. It gets a helluva lot worse.

Is it too late to start living my life the way I want?

Nope. Then again, you might die today, so maybe.

He is perfect for me and treats me amazingly well, but he is also a workaholic. How do I get more time with him?
You don’t. Learn to deal with it, or move on.

You seem to have a superiority complex.

That’s because my defense mechanisms are better than yours.

What are your thoughts on how human attraction works?
I don’t think it does.

On the future of your relationships


Two years ago I’d describe myself as a pretty badass bitch who handled relationships with confidence and dignity. Now, post first big love, I find myself having to consciously fight sexual jealousy and struggling to be vulnerable with the newest infatuation. What gives?

Two years ago you didn’t know shit about love. Now you know a little. Keep it up, and in two more years you’ll know even more.

Is knowing that someone will be a good father, and knowing that someone loves you immensely in a way that you have never been loved before enough of a reason to marry that person? Also best sex of my life.

Maybe. There are worse reasons to get married. There are also better. You’ll end up bored as hell sometime around 2020, but that was probably gonna happen anyway.

Find out if you can cohabitate with the dude before you go squirting out any of his babies, and don’t expect the best sex of your life to be a thing you keep on this list indefinitely.

My boyfriend of three years won’t let me move in with him. He says it’s because he wants to “have something that is just his” (referring to the house he bought last year). This stresses me out all the time, because it makes me feel like he doesn’t want a future with me. We work together, so I often worry that our mutual work environment is what holds us together for him. Should I cool it, or is this something that warrants a huge discussion?

A huge discussion? Ugh. No wonder your boyfriend doesn’t want you to move in with him. I’d tell you to cool it, but first you’d have to be capable of actually being cool, and you’re way too insecure in your relationship to pull that off.

Are you prepared to break up with your boyfriend? Didn’t think so, which means that brow-beating him with “we need to talk” level conversations isn’t going to get you what you want. All it will do is reinforce his need for personal space.

You already work together and socialize together. It’s not outrageous for your boyfriend to feel that living together might be too much, and I’m sorry, but if your mutual work environment really is the only thing holding you two together, then you’re screwed. That’s a huge red flag, and there’s no way your boyfriend will ask you to move in with him if he’s already emotionally checked out from the relationship.

I know this answer won’t alleviate your stress, but maybe it will get you to take a step back and start looking at the bigger picture. Three years is long enough to know whether you should be planning a future together. Do you really want a future with someone who’s still keeping you at arm’s length?

Read this week’s column over at

On doing what needs to be done


My friend-with-benefits sent me a text saying “You need to back away from me until you can control and handle your emotions. You’re being clingy, obnoxiously attached, and irrationally upset for no goddamn reason. Until then, please do something constructive instead of sending me a text.” He just sent this straight out of the blue and I’m about 5 seconds from kicking his ass to the curb. I can’t keep giving him second chances. I need advice. Help. Anything.

You can only give somebody one second chance. After that, “giving him second chances” is just code for putting up with more of his bullshit.

And let’s be clear, he didn’t send that text straight out of the blue. You may not want to admit it, but you know damn well why he thinks you’re being clingy, obnoxiously attached, and irrationally upset for no goddamn reason.

I’m not saying he’s right. I’m just saying quit acting all surprised. Even if he is right, he’s still behaving like a gigantic asshole, and you shouldn’t tolerate that kind of disrespect from a friend, with or without benefits. It’s doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship, so you should probably take your five seconds and then go ahead and kick his ass to the curb.

Now, here’s the real question. Can you do what needs to be done, or are you just in this for the drama?

Any argument or disagreement with my boyfriend crumbles into the basest expression of spluttering animal emotion. There is absolutely no room for rational conversation.

I’m no angel but my intentions are good. I try to address, redress, apologize, take responsibility… and he’s too busy bellowing over me to even take it in.

I don’t know how to resolve conflict with him. He shouts + rages + raves + doesn’t even hear the apology he’s asking for. Shouting back, speaking calmly, letting him know he is being heard, silent treatment…. I’ve tried everything I can think of. I am so, so tired.

Break up with him. You know you can do that, right?

Trust yourself when you say you’ve tried everything, because there are no magic solutions to this kind of problem. If your boyfriend is insufferable, then quit suffering him.

Life’s hard enough without a partner who’s constantly leaving you emotionally exhausted. It’s one thing to struggle with incompatible conflict resolution styles, but you should never have to put up with verbal abuse.

Read this week’s column over at

On fun-sized advice


I just got dumped. I thought I would be devastated, but I am so fucking relieved. Am I kidding myself, or is this real?
Nah, it’s real. Your ex made the right decision for you both.

Why do relationships feel sticky and tiring to me?
Because you put up with that shit.

What do you with someone who is hell bent on being self destructive but is intelligent enough to know better?
Intelligence has nothing to do with it. Also, try not to confuse actual self-destruction for behavior that merely conflicts with your personal morality.

I want to ask her out but I’m in a monogamous relationship.
You have three options: You can cheat, you can not cheat, or you can modify the terms of your monogamous relationship (which for most couples means breaking-up.) Choose wisely, and accept the consequences.

Why does it bother me that four of my friends have referred to their boyfriends as sociopaths, yet continue to date them?
The boyfriends aren’t sociopaths. They’re just self-absorbed assholes, and it bothers you because friends are annoying when they chronically date self-absorbed assholes…

Read the rest of this week’s column over at

“People talk about escapism as if it’s a bad thing …once you’ve escaped, once you come back, the world is not the same as when you left it. You come back to it with skills, weapons, knowledge you didn’t have before.”
Neil Gaiman  (via michellardi)

(Source: terribleminds)

“I am a collection of dismantled almosts.
Anne Sexton  (via michellardi)

(Source: violentwavesofemotion)

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